“Postpartum” Nourishment and Promoting Growth
I am not sure if it is the Gemini in me or what, but I have always had a fascination with looking up words in the dictionary. I want to know exactly what my words mean. Even words I use often or hear thrown around casually, every once in a while, I really like to pause and consider, “what does this word really mean?”
So, as I embark on this 40 day journey back home to myself, the word that keeps coming up for me is “nourish.” According to the dictionary definition, “nourish” means “to promote the growth of.” There are a few different definitions, but this is the one that resonates most with my intention for this 40 day journey. What a beautiful endeavor - to promote the growth of ME! The “me” that I am becoming at the present moment. Different from any previous version of me that has ever existed.
I am rediscovering myself as a business owner right now. My business is growing and thriving and really beginning to take on a life of its own. This is incredibly exciting and everything I have ever wanted, but I am discovering who I am in the midst of it all. I am leveling up.
I am returning home to myself. I am returning to my intuitive, feminine, wild nature. I have forgotten her in many ways. Of course, I have my daily practices to keep me sane, grounded, and able to show up for my work and my clients. However, I feel I have lost my connection to myself in many ways. It has been a long time since I really asked myself what feels good to me. What foods feel good? What type of movement feels good? How do I turn myself on? How do I stoke my fire and my passion for life? How do I let myself rest? As my teacher Kimberly Johnson constantly reminds me, it is incredibly important to develop discernment skills. We must anchor our experience in what feels good in order to do healing work. Moving toward what feels good to me and away from what feels bad to me is my daily practice throughout this 40 day journey.
The most important part of this exploration is that it is different every day. It is different during different phases of my moon cycle, it is different on a Monday than it is on a Tuesday, it is different in different seasons of the year. It is different in the morning versus at night. The feminine flows. She is wild. She acts from intuition. She is deeply connected to her soul’s truth. This is the embodiment I am craving. This is the wild, empowered woman I know I am at my core. She is in there. I can feel her stirring. I just need to connect to her. I need to nourish and nurture her. I need to make her feel safe, supported, and loved.
I just finished birthing the two greatest creations I have ever brought into this world - THE DEEP: Identity and THE WELL online community. Bringing these offerings to life was one of the most exciting and rewarding experiences of my life. I felt more aligned and in my purpose than ever before. However, like all birthing experiences, it was also exhausting. After birth, it is imperative for mama and baby to be nourished in a supportive postpartum cocoon. The same is true for this process of birthing my offerings. I am really tuning in and nourishing myself in the ways that intuitively feel good each day. This time and these practices are all intended to promote the growth of me. I am using this “postpartum” period to nourish myself so I can show up whole for my clients within THE DEEP: Identity and THE WELL online community.
The key ingredient of this journey is that it is fluid. It is all about intuition and not having too much structure or too many rules. It is rooted in the belief that my body knows what it needs to feel good and what it needs to heal. All of the healing work I have done up to this point has prepared me to be able to discern what is best for me in each moment. I am not following a specific diet or workout routine. I am not mandating a certain daily meditation or spiritual practice. I am not setting myself up for “failure,” punishment, or self-criticism. Instead, I am creating space for myself to explore my desires and what my body is asking for each day.
Each day, I am focusing on five pillars of “wellness” (I don’t love this word, but cannot really think of a better one at the moment). Each day, I am asking myself, “how do I want to move, meditate, nourish, rest, and arouse myself today?” Some days, that looks like green juice and bone broth. Some days, it is cheesecake and a nourishing yoga nidra practice. Some days it is a HIIT workout and some days it is a sensual yoga flow. Some days I am super high energy and dance all day and other days, naps are required.
Exploring turning myself on has been my favorite part. Not depending on a partner or interactions with others to make me feel sexy, wild, confident, and alive in my own skin is one of the greatest challenges on my healing journey, but it is important work for me to do. I am exploring this through dance, photography, aromatherapy, self pleasure, pampering myself, and getting dressed up.
I am sharing bits of this journey on instagram and will most likely do a follow up blog post when the journey is complete. This time is so important. I am feeling the shifts already. I am showing up to life differently. I am starting to feel feminine, primal, and wild again. It is delicious! I encourage you to tap into your wild, intuitive nature whenever possible. It is the best way I know how to live.